Now that Christmas is over, the Leftist gargoyles have retreated to their dwellings until they are ready for the next round of “Let’s Destroy All National Holidays and Make People Miserable Just Like Ourselves” festivities.
We expect to see them again around Easter, followed by Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, Fourth of July, among others, and let’s not forget their second favorite problematic holidays Halloween and Thanksgiving, until once again we reach the Christmas season in 2019 when they will creep out of their swamp once again in all their glory, bullying and screeching about sexism, rape, the patriarchy, how evil Christianity and Jesus are, and how Christmas is hateful and unimportant compared to Kwanzaa. It’s almost as if they come out around every major holiday to pick up steam and come up with the latest in SJW talk, but they save their best and most fabulous performance for Christmastime. For 2018, we are only left with New Year’s Eve, which means soon we are probably going to be reminded that we shouldn’t be so intolerant towards people who celebrate the Lunar New Year because fireworks are cultural appropriation or some such nonsense.
So with Christmas 2018 almost over, it is only fair to tally up this year’s casualties and those on life support, which the Left attacked and in some cases was close to destroying completely. I would like to consider this post as a Part 2 to my previous post on the War on Christmas. Every war has its casualties, so here’s a list of all the casualties from this war so far that I know of, so that next year we are reminded of the Left’s insanity, and maybe we can keep expanding it as time goes by (hopefully not though.)
1. Baby, It’s Cold Outside.
Of course, our Number 1 has to be Frank Loesser’s 1944 timeless classic Baby, It’s Cold Outside. This made-up “controversy” started last year but it gained even more steam in 2018 when Leftists decided that this benign song, which predates most of their grandparents, is not really about playful flirting, but about date rape. This year, the war on this song resumed and I’m sure it will continue to take multiple hits next year and the year after.
2. Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer
One of the most beloved Christmas films of all time, this 1964 stop-motion animation was found to be “problematic” on a number of accounts, including sexism, ablism, bullying, and the patriarchy, among others.
3. It’s a Wonderful Life
Alright, you can’t spell Christmas without at some point thinking about James Steward and the story of It’s A Wonderful Life. It just isn’t possible. Kind of like forgetting what the plot of Home Alone is about. Yet, CNN found It’s A Wonderful Life, you guessed it, sexist and misogynistic.
4. Christmas Parties
Calling the Christmas party a holiday party has been a trend for the past years now. However, a lot of companies started skipping their Christmas parties altogether.
5. Candy Canes
Some dimwit principal decided to ban candy canes, out of all things, because they are shaped like the letter J, which to her was a reminder of Jesus, and of course we shouldn’t have any reference to Jesus on Christmas.
Now I would say Christmas, which literally stands for Christ’s Mass, wouldn’t be Christmas without Jesus, but a school in Virginia seems to disagree. They banned all songs that mention Jesus or Christ from their Christmas concert. Maybe they didn’t realize what the word Christmas stands for, so it wouldn’t be completely out of hand to suggest that as soon as they do, they will ban songs that mention the word Christmas.
7. The Nativity Scene
Just like Jesus himself, the Nativity Scene is definitely not appropriate for Christmastime. Too offensive.
8. The Cross
Jesus, a Jew, takes another bullet here because he is, you guessed it, oppressive to Jews.
9. Santa Claus is a penguin
Santa joins Jesus in that he was also under a LOT of fire this year. We almost have to put together a separate list just for him. Let’s start off with this genius idea over from the folks at Slate. Santa should no longer be a white guy, or even a guy, he should be a penguin. Absolutely groundbreaking, Pulitzer Prize stuff over here. I wonder if your brain has to be smooth as a slate in order to get hired by Slate?
10. Santa Claus has a black husband
Like every good feminist from the intersectional coalition, we kicked out Mrs. Claus and got Santa a brand new black husband and very appropriately introduced him in a children’s book. What better way to teach kids diversity!
11. Santa Claus is a woman
What am I talking about. Santa shouldn’t be a guy at all! Santa’s a woman now. Now everything we have to do is make him a disabled lesbian and the intersectional coalition would be happy as a clam.
In other news, we may have lost these heroes in the battle, but don’t worry, at least Illinois installed a sculpture from the Church of Satan alongside its Christmas tree and Menorah, because yay, it’s the holidays! And while communist China has actually banned Christmas decorations, sales, and any celebration of the holiday, I would’t call that necessarily shocking. It is communist China. If there’s somebody who does the war on Christmas best, communists have proven themselves to have no rival.
It is important to note. These are not outliers anymore. This is becoming the mainstream. This is gaining more and more momentum, coverage, and attention to the point where people who actually behave like sane normal human beings are forced to feel at odds with what is the right thing to do. Namely, accept that Santa is a gay penguin with a black husband and ban movies and songs at the behest of the SJW overlords.That is why we shouldn’t give in to this bullying because it is not going to stop. We know from history that the Left doesn’t just stop. With every inch we give, they take a mile, and one day we will find ourselves not even at a Holiday party that is Christmas themed, but at a grey winter solstice party.
In conclusion, I want to point out to a more grave thing that is happening. While I may be writing about all of the insanity with a note of satire, there are real casualties around the world, who do in fact lose their lives during Christmas at the hands of terrorism. One of the recent attacks happened at a Christmas market in Strasburg where people did lose their lives and a lot were injured. While the guy who committed the attack yelled Allahu Akbar!, the press is still reporting that the motive of the attack is unknown. This is the state of the West. We mourn for the people who lost their lives while celebrating Christmas but at the same time, we keep giving in to the social justice Left which undermines our strengths and provides even more leverage to those who in reality want to see us dead.
But at least the Left feels good about itself.
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